Learn to Naturally Attract Women

Limitations? Yes. Success? Yes.

2009-05-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

Hey sorry to anyone who's still following this... I've been pretty busy with other things. I haven't really been thinking much about pick up lately. I still go out regularly, been dating lots of women, taking up other hobbies etc.

This post goes directly to guys with negative self esteem. You have to just accept your limitations, work on them, and take action. This goes out to those of you who complain that you're too fat, ugly, shy, scared etc...

So to those of you who still feel like you are too limited to succeed with women (or life), check this guy out:

OK that was a little religious fluffy, but you get the gist.

Acknowledge any set backs ie. shyness Accept them, and MOVE ON. Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway.

Your Personal Coach

2009-04-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

(Sorry I haven't updated in a while or answered emails. I've been in and out of town, meeting and hanging out with tons of women, and picking up new interests/hobbies, just been trying to get this to be an active/productive year as i said i would in my new years post)

Let's talk about being productive when you're 'out'

When I got good at attracting women I focused on experiencing things, not just going out to have fun. Nowadays I focus more on just having a good time, but when you're beginning you especially have to focus on learning.

Not only are you learning 'skills', lines or gimmicks. You should be aquainting yourself to social experiences, and building up a tough skin and confidence.

So make every interaction with women a learning experience.

Here's what I do: Use your mind as your own personal coach. The coach in your head should be both teaching you and encouraging you as you go along.

He should be positive and optimistic, but also rational. If you're coach constantly says to you that you're awesome and that's the end of it (ie affirmations) then your subconscious will counter this. If you

Let me give you examples...

Sometimes when I see a really hot girl or am in an uncomfortable situation, my mind still can get irrational and might saying things like, "No you can't", "She's too hot for you", "You're not ____enough for her"

Counter this with your 'inner-coach' with something rational and real.

"Maybe I'm a little shy, but I'm going to just go out and have fun." or "She's super hot so I'm going to use this to motivate me to talk to her." "I am a dope guy when I act like myself and don't care so much about what others think of me." etc etc...

Especially when you're learning you have to be super encouraging and positive.

I'm serious about this... try it out for a month while going out often and interacting with a lot of people.

Eventually it will become a part of YOU and you'll just become a vibrant, attractive person.

Your mind might be predisposed to pull yourself down now, but if you actively use your inner-coach you'll be fine.

Remember you're a pimp and good luck

The Ultimate Dilema in 'Pick up'

2009-02-22T13:56:00.000-08:00

I've been getting a lot of emails from guys who ask specific questions about what the "right" thing to say in any particular situation....

The dilema here is that we're in this to become 'good' with women, while one of the most important aspects of becoming 'good' is just being a 'cool' guy.

How do you become a 'cool' natural guy without being 'try-hard'?

To be a 'cool' guy, you need to not really care about the outcome, be chill, positive, think outside your head, and be unreactive.

So how can you do this and at the same time say the 'right' thing?

Well first I'd say that whatever the hell you want to say. Don't think about it so much and just say what ever is entertaining to YOU, not her. If you're laughing having a good time etc, then she will be engulfed by your positive frame.

But ultimately you have to find a medium between the above and really saying something witty. BUT more important is the way your projecting yourself, not what your saying.

If you completely draw a blank everytime you hit on a girl just write down a few lines (ie opinion openers or direct lines like 'hey you seem cool, i just wanted to come meet you') then go out and talk to a bunch of women.

Don't over think what you have to say in the beginning because you will boggle your mind. Just keep it short and simple and groove. If you put so much into what your saying you will feel the need to follow it up with something more witty in a never ending cycle.

Talking to women is more rhythmic and about feelings and emotions, and NOT about always saying the right thing while thinking in your head about your next memorized line.

So let's take a step back and really see what the issue is.

Ask yourself why are you going out to meet women?

Ultimately to get better with women right?

I think the ultimate real reason is that you want to be satisfied, happy and successful.

I'm not condoning going out being a crazy happy go lucky party guy, and not connect with women at all.

I'm just saying you gotta have a great time while you 'learn' and gain experience.

It's OK to think about saying the right thing at times, but ultimately you have to enjoy what your doing or you'll crack.

A lot of 'dating gurus' try to make this whole 'pick up' thing more complicated then it really is. (A lot of these guys are self-loathing nerds who are really terrible with women, but are good at holding a 15 min conversation of memorized routines at a bar then eject from a set. But if that's what makes them happy then more power to them haha)

We can make this game extremely complicated and technical...or we can go out naturally with a good attitude (an attitude of trying to have a damn good time for yourself and not out to impress women with gimmicks and cute lines)

A lot of guys in the 'community' end up becoming try hard dancing monkeys... If you at any time feel like you're heading towards this, i'd say drop everything you are memorizing or doing and just go out with some friends and have a good time.

Go out and just meet people, find interest in them and be bold about it.

It's part of being normal and natural... so stop trying so hard and take a step back from all this crap that's been spewed at you.

Stop being so hard on yourself and reteach yourself to just have a good time and you'll probably start getting laid.

I'm saying this especially for guys who have been trying this "pick up" stuff for 6 months or more. If what you're doing isn't working it's time to change.

You fear approaching because you are 'try hard', expecting and over-thinking. Just drop it all and be free.

What's more important then learning a bunch of lines is making some long term goals. First sit down and ask yourself why you're doing this. Is it making you frusterated, or is are you really getting results (ie. meeting and connecting with attractive women, having long term relationships, sex)

It's OK to come back and dabble in your 'studies', but don't become obsessed. It's also alright to 'analyze' your game every now and then, because if you don't you'll just be that happy care free guy who chats up lots of girls and goes home empty handed.

So take action, and do. Push yourself hard to be great, but remember to be your awesome self. Stop over thinking and sweating the small stuff.

Does Will Get Nervous Around Women?

2009-02-12T16:31:00.001-08:00

Yes I still do.

But now I accept it, push through any awkwardness and try to have fun.

I especially experience this when I have been "out of the game for a while" or the first few minutes of a night out when I've been at the office all day etc. It's like I have to get into the groove again.

So now, if I feel anxiety at a club with tons of hot women, I simply say to myself, "I feel anxious right now, but it's not a big deal. It's all good and nothing will happen. Let's just try to have a good time".

It's like I'm my own personal coach.

Just think of that old book's title: Feel the Fear, and Do It Anyways.

The fear keeps reducing with experience and realization that nothing really bad will happen. I mean you're not going to lose a limb from this...trust me.

It's OK to have some fear, especially in social situations. Once you start grooving and building momentum it usually will tend to flow. But if you do NOTHING in a situation you will get NOTHING out of the situation and wind up feeling like SHIT.

After you go out and hit on women just tell yourself you did a good job and think of what you learned or who you met from a situation. This is all about growth.

A lot of times if I meet an exceptionally hot woman and even get her number I feel anxiety even up to this day. But I will push myself to do it and just say to my self GO FOR IT.

Here's a little story I recall from the movie Catch Me If You Can:

Two mice were dropped into a bucket of milk. One mouse drowned right away. The other mouse kept swimming and struggling until he made butter and walked out.

Nice guy vs Mean Guy...

2009-02-02T15:26:00.001-08:00

Being a nice guy will only get you so far...

Being an an ass hole will also only get you so far...

Becoming a naturally attractive guy will get you to the end

Think about how your game has changed from when you were totally unaware, to now that you have some game (or at least knowledge about it)

Are you being too extreme? Are you burning bridges to protect yourself?

A lot of guys get into this, learn about negging and become negging machines, only to blow out every possible love interest.

If you've been in the game for several months and haven't been getting results, it's time to change things up. (by results I mean regularly attracting and having sex with women, not just entertaining them by acting gay, lol) It's OK to show a woman interest, to tell her she's beautiful, or to man up and ask her out on a date without being "cocky funny" .

Find a medium... be true to your principles and become a well rounded person.

2009 - Best Year Ever!

2009-01-18T14:14:00.000-08:00

First off, Happy New Years, I made a vow to have this be my best year ever! Sorry I haven't been updating this much, I've just been enjoying life too much. I haven't been going out quite as much as before hitting on girls, just been taking off some time, while still hooking up with 'fun' buddies.

This year I've got some pretty specific set goals that I want to accomplish over the year and throughout my life to become a more effective and successful person. I also resolve to update this blog more often...but we'll see how that goes ;)

Alright No excuses! let's just get to it.

I've been thinking a lot lately about life and what it means to be a truly attractive man. It's important to be a well rounded in all aspects of life. This is especially true if you want to attract women and hold them for the long run (Not just use cheesy lines and memorized gimmicks to woo a woman temporarily in a completely try-hard way)

The problem with most guys is they put to much effor and time into one area, such as career and spend 80-90% of their time towards that.
While this is OK during times when you're looking for a new job etc, you never want to be stuck in a rut and become a one-sided person

When I first got heavily into dating and attracting women I spent 90% of my time toward it. Now I spend very little time thinking about it. I've internalized and just need to get into a good state and take action.

To me I go out to clubs/ lounges to have a good time and women just come. Almost on any given night I can leave the venue with a new girl.

If you're not successful with women I would suggest putting nearly 90% of your effort and time into it, at least for a while, until you get very satisfied with your success.

As the wise Stephen Covey puts it, to be an effective and successful person you have to become a well rounded principle centered person.

To do this you must spend equal time in different facets of life: dating, health, family, friends, career, finance, etc. But mainly you have to be true to your principles and self. I'll elaborate more on this later.

That being said, it's pretty darn nice to be good with women. :)

email me if you're in town and want to meet some women and have a blast doing it....

If you were to die today would you have any regrets?

2008-10-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

If you were on your deathbed would you wish that you'd spent more time at the office, browsing the internet, or watching TV?

Who looks back on their life and says: "Damn I really wish I spent a few more hours playing XBox"

Imagine what things you would have wished you did more...

Who would you have spent more time with?

Would you wish you spent more or less time working at the office?

What would you cut out... just reflect on the last year or so and imagine if you could get that time back...

You're probably going to regret not spending more time with your family, loved one's and forming relationships...with beautiful women (yeah like the one you avoided approaching the other day)

Now look at your front door...

and walk your ass out and meet some women

Luckily for you, ya still have time to change so get this part of your life handled

Technology

2008-10-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Guess what Casanova's lay rate was?

Just 122 women over his life time.

At the time that was probably one of the highest.

How did Casanova keep in touch with so many women?

He'd risk life and limb by hopping through their windows random nights...

To keep in touch he'd have to write a letter and deliver it to them

While very romantic, I definitely would not recommend hopping through windows...nowadays it's easy for any guy to be a "Casanova" or "Don Juan" and easily reach their number of lays in a few years

I absolutely love using technology ie: text messaging, myspace, facebook

It allows me to maintain contact with lots of women

How often do hot women have facebook or myspace?

The majority of them...

It makes things so simple: You can easily mass text women or send out facebook invites to multiple friends. Keeping in touch is now easy

Not only can you keep in touch, but you can actually meet women online

Even if you're not trying to bed lots of women, technology can definitely be used to attract women. Especially if you're a shy guy you don't have to call up a girl right away. You can simply text back and forth to "get to know eachother"

She will simply think you're a busy guy and often this will increase her attraction to you.

I will for sure talk about texting, myspace, and facebook more in depth

I definitely recommend using technology to your advantage, even for those who are procrastinating techno-phobes or just old farts

'Typical' Wednesday Night

2008-10-08T20:34:00.000-07:00

Tonight could be a typical wednesday night...

I could sit in front of the TV and watch Comedy Central for a couple hours then go to bed...

Instead I'm inviting a girl over to watch TV with.

I actually met this girl when I was out on a date with another chick.

A couple weeks ago I was out with a girl I met in Hermosa Beach with her friends and my friends.

When your out with a group of girls it's really easy to meet random chicks, because of Social Proof (look it up)

While out, I eventually separate from the girl and quickly met a hot girl walking by, by just telling her I liked her red hat (which I actually did, but she was also hot as hell)

It was a 2 min interaction but the red hat girl told me she wouldn't give out her number so I just grabbed her phone (playfully) and punched in my phone.

Then I called myself, sending her number to me...

This is like many of my short sets, where I quickly get the number and move on...

I didn't even think much of it at the time because it's one of several numbers I will get in a given night.

We talked on the phone a few times and now have a 'date' set up for tonight.

I later added her on myspace and found out she's a go-go dancer and has a super hot body...

All she's doing is coming over to watch the Sarah Silverman show which I Tivoed earlier... I mean I was going to do this anyways tonight, so why not call a girl and invite her over for it...

That's why I always stress getting as many numbers as possible and making the most of them...

Be resourceful, and also believe that you have the ability to attract all these women... If not, at least try inviting them out and see what happens... you need as much experience as possible to get good with women and to get the best womn

If you're going to sit at home and watch TV anyways why not call up one of those numbers you got last week (ya know the one's that you think might not be 'solid' numbers)

Tonight we'll probably have a little wine and see where things go... (she's on her way here now)

The lesson is that you have to get good with women then become efficient with your time and resourceful at getting contact info with women.

When I started this I used to spend so much time trying to attract women, but later learned that it is quite simple, and now the logistics of meeting and courting them all come into effect.

To get good at this I used to spend so much time calling girls, meeting with them etc, like at one point I was seriously dating over 10 women at once... It was very detrimental to my health and time...

Now I have over 20 options in any given week...just girls who are 'fuck buddies', or that I'm seeing as a MLTR (multiple long term relationship) or I'm just talking to but haven't gone on a date yet

I just don't waste as much time trying to constantly stay in touch/ court them as I did before. I also (like many guys stuck in the game) used to get a bunch of contacts, flirt with them, but never set up an actual meeting... then it would fizzle out...

I try to do what I describe in the 'date' above, that is, see them on my own time when I'm doing my everyday things... It's important to keep yourself well rounded and have other things to do with your time.

(I still sometimes go on typical dates with certain girls...so there's always that too)

LR: Weeknight Fun

2008-10-02T13:29:00.001-07:00

OK so it was the middle of the week. I could have stayed home and watched baseball highlights on TV.... no instead I will go out and have a little fun...

We went to this club that was really difficult to get into, but luckily my friend had a hookup

Usually in these types of clubs you get better reactions when you hit on women because you are 'prescreened'. That is, the club is selective in who they let into the club. They only let in hot women, or men with connections, bottle service, or who are accompanied by hot women.

That way you don't get groups of men lurking about hitting on every woman in sight... which is actually much better for your game

This night was awesome...

Fuck TV, seriously as much as I love it... gotta say it's a waste of my damn time.

The night was great, at least overall... It was like many of my nights, it starts off with initial anticipation and a little self-doubt. Then I say 'fuck it' and just pump my state and get into a good positive mood.

The middle of my night had ups and downs as girls blew me off or loved me and as the night went on I made "allies" (girls who I #close / or just people I meet and befriend) etc

I did get a couple really bad reactions though, including a girl who said, "Get the fuck away from us!!" as I was walking towards her with a smile... haha

The best way to react to this is just keep smiling or just laugh and move on. It's partially a numbers game. A girl could be PMSing or just got dumped by a guy.

So I kept moving on despite any bad reactions and eventually ran into a hot chick...

She's very firey, and on vacation visiting a friend... just the type I like.

When a girl is on vaca all her inhibitions go out the door...

We dance, banter etc

Then it's out the door, hand in hand, to grab a hotdog at a stand (I paid, sorry David D)

a budding romance

Then I tease her that she has to take me out to dinner next time because I got her food this time ;)

We roll play, have a little romance, and a lot of fun

From there we bounce back to her place because I live far.........

The thing is I at least try to have a good time whether I get the girl or not, this time I just so happened to - it's Win-Win

Fr: Have Lot's of Options (Part 2)

2008-09-26T19:27:00.001-07:00

When you're in this game for a while and have had some level of success, you have to use that momentum to propel yourself even further...

It's like...when you're good you should just meet lots of girls and close. (by close I mean )

At this point in my game it's about meeting as many women as possible, getting their number and meeting up with them.

This game is about having real relationships with LOTS women (including sex), not just about learning to entertain them, put them on a pedestal or befriend them in a gay, non-sexual way.

Here's a little example of how I roll...

In the past week I've met tons of girls who are genuinely attracted to me. Like I always say, it is a numbers game and a strategy game more than anything once you have built up skills, have a great attitude, and become a naturally attractive guy.

Yesterday for instance I took a girl out on a first date to a friend's band. She was very pretty and had a great personality to back it up. Things went well and we kissed, made out etc,

We kept talking, making out, kissing, etc etc.....

The night dragged on and I could tell it wasn't going to go anywhere further on the physical level.

I live pretty far from where we went out so I figured I wouldn't pull her back to get to my place yet...so instead took the initiative to end the night

After saying our goodbyes that point I then called up 3 girls, one of whom was awake, and went to her house to have a good night...

Having other girls made this easy to do, and also made her yern for more. I ended the date on a high point

It's important to have many girls in your life... you'll not only have multiple options, but the experience will build up your inner game 100 times better than anything you

(c,,,edit of this post later)

Have better things to do then "Pick Up", BUT...

2008-09-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

So the other day I heard a friend of mine was referring to an old 'community' saying that, "You have to have things to do that are more important to you then 'pick up'."

I totally agree that you should have other things that are important to you, and get you out of your head. It's important to have a balanced and interesting life

This is especially important for guys who are OBSESSED with studying this stuff, but don't get laid.

But then again hey if you love this stuff, and love women and ARE getting laid then it's fine to put this in the forefront of what you do.

I also don't think you should 'give up' at meeting and attracting women and start putting ALL your time into something else.

For me I love women and I do put this stuff first in my life because I find it fun and rewarding... yes i love having sex with women and lots of them haha.

I also just like to go out and meet people (I used to not be like this, but after having some success it becomes fun).

At the same time I also have lots of other things I do for fun, from hanging out with friends, to reading, basketball, to poker, to traveling, movies, music, TV, etc.

I believe that you have to have a balanced life, but man... I love going out and picking up women.

Having one night stands is one of my favorite things to do, and hey if I'm good at it, why not? (Even nights where I go out and just get rejected a lot I have fun...)

I feel like a lot of guys who do pick up for a while then quit and say they have other things to do just never got good at it.

If every guy was as good as meeting women as me they would probably become obsessed with it.

Trust me, when you have real success it does not get old...

There are always hotter women, and cool women with interesting lives.

I'm constantly pushing myself to get better, while having fun along the way.

I say, if you're doing the same old shit, not getting laid... then push yourself and CHANGE what your doing.

It's like the old adage, "If what you're doing aint working then change it up"

Let's say you've been memorizing routine stacks for over a year and you still don't get women...

Well then I say go all out and try being very direct with women. Tell women straight up that you think they're beautiful.

Don't fear it, just DO IT and see what happens.

Try getting rejected for a month, it can be fun and you can learn a lot from it... I'm serious.

A lot of guys let their egos get in the way and will do anything from be very indirect and cold or act completely gay so they can avoid getting 'blown out'.

Try being direct...

Or if you are being too aggressive and scaring women away, try being a little more indirect. Some guys just scare women away because they seem too 'playerish'.

Anyways it's all about changing things up until you find your own way.

Don't be afraid of change, especially if you're not getting success (and by success I mean meeting, attracting, and actually having sex with women. A lot of guys in this game think that if they 'entertain' women, they have succeeded. They get caught up with this and become good at 'flash' game, but have few lays under their belts)

Back to having "better things to do"...

One of my buds who I used to wing with a lot now plays video games all the time.

He said that he likes having "other things he likes to do besides meeting hot women"... So now, instead of meeting women he plays video games 20+ hours a week.

I called him last Saturday to see if he wanted to go out. He said that he was really tired because he spent all of Friday night playing xbox... about 8 hours straight...

While he was playing X Box Friday, I went out, met a bunch of girls, and made out with an awesome chick who I already have a date with this wk.

As much as you love to do 'other things', I'm sorry but if that much time was spent on women you would be getting laid (provided that you're PUSHING yourself, changing up your game, and doing the right things)

Same thing goes for watching television.

Think about it and do the math. If you're watching 3 hours of TV a day, that's 21 hours per week...

I say spend that time going out and meeting women!

If you have time to watch 21 hours of TV you have time to go out 2-3 times a week and meet some people.

It's OK to watch TV, chill, and play video games, but if you're not having sex then for god sake have a life too! If you don't then work on it and work on it HARD.

You have nothing to lose (especialy if you're already not having sex) :)

Your video games and the TV will still be there...

Make pick up something you enjoy and you WILL succeed.

Good luck...

Over night Success?

2008-09-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

This stuff doesn't happen over night...

I was actively working on my game for a couple years before going mainly natural.

The thing is that it does take time and there's no magic pill that will get you 'good' immediately.

That's why learning to LOVE the game becomes essential.

Also, you can immediately go out, try things and have a good time while doing them. You don't have to 'master' this right away.

How did I 'learn' to become naturally good with women?

I compartamentalized my learning into chunks. I learned a little bit each time I went out and focused on fundamentals like having a positive attitude and the 4 keys.

Now I try not to think too much about 'gaming' women, but more about having a good time and let the women come to me...

You internalize things by learning things one step at a time.

Now, meeting women has become to Fishing versus Hunting.

Find a blog entry that resonates deeply with you then:

GO OUT AND TRY IT...

ACTION is the Key to success...

The Hot and Sexy Women of the Olympics

2008-08-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

I've been watching a lot of Olympics lately...

This year in particular I've noticed a lot of good looking female athletes and I've decided to make a "Top Olympics Hotties List". :-)

So, here it is in no particular order:

Alicia Sacramone
USA
Gymnastics

Alicia is the bomb-shell of the USA Gymnastic Team and although she had a poor performance on team competition in Beijing, she sure gets my vote as one of the hotter Olympians.

She's also been getting quite popular on the Internet.

Also, unlike a the rest of the gymnastic team she isn't jail-bait (She's 20 years old).

Woo hoo!

Bia and Branca Feres
Synchronized Swimming
Brazil

These girls are super hot and double trouble... who doesn't like twins, let alone Brazilian twins?

Yum...double your pleasure, double your fun!

Viva Brazil!

Lolo Jones
USA
Track Hurdles

What a pretty gal. In China she got tripped up on a hurdle, although she was the favored winner.

Stephanie Rice
Australia
Swimming

An Olympic swimmer, hottie and a party girl.

Stephanie Rice also posed for FHM Australia and had a controversial Facebook scandal.

And last but not least......

Vlada Camel-a-ta-toe
Kazakastan
Gymnist

How could I leave out Vlada Camelatatoe from Kazakastan...

LOL

...jk about this last Olympic Hottie (but seriously check out that camel toe...)

These are just some Olympic Babes.

Feel free to share your own!

~Will

Update

2008-08-19T15:48:00.000-07:00

Hey all, I've been pretty busy because of work and partially because I had a girl visiting that I met in Vegas a year ago. She ended up staying with me for the past week...

One thing that I've been thinking about lately is focusing on things that you are doing that are 'right' in your game, and keeping them up versus just focusing on 'sticking points' or things you are doing that are supposedly 'wrong'.

If you think like this versus purely negatively, then you will come off more confident and set a better frame.

Instead of always avoiding wrong behavior you'll start acting more congruent and confident with yourself and it will come off purely attractive to women.

You should want to become a confident person and believe in yourself. It's more important than any lines or techniques you can use to woo a woman.

For instance there are guys who are mere naturals who can act dorky or supposedly 'low value' but they are firm in their beliefs and very confident. Girls will go along with it just by the way they act and the fact that naturals aren't shy or low self esteem...

Good luck

Will Lovett

I Fail, Get Back Up, And Try Again

2008-08-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Hey guys,

I just wanted to let you all know that I've been rejected thousands of times...

Did I mention Michael Jordan has missed thousands upon thousands of shots...

It's not really a big deal. It's how you react after the rejection (and if you let it emotionally affect you) that matters more

(You can learn as much from failure as you can from success)

Try going out with a super happy positive attitude...like you're a kid in a candy store...and try approaching like 10 girls. This will pump up your state drastically.

At the same time go in with the attitude that you don't give a damn, and are just out to have a good time no matter what happens.

Do this with the mindset that your are out to have a good time and as a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.... You'll learn so much more from doing this sort of excercise than sitting at home reading about 'game'

Even if an interaction goes 'bad' just continue pressing on...

A lot of times an interaction that you initially think is 'bad' actually turns out good.

Remember that women will often put on a negative front when you first approach them, especially in a club. This is usually a test to see what your intentions are or if you'll tuck your tail between your legs and run away. She also, often doesn't want to appear 'easy' to you or anyone else watching.

How you react to her is often what makes or breaks an interaction. No matter how she reacts remain confident and positive.

Be completely unaffected by the outcome.

If the interaction still isn't going so well, keep your head up, smile and move on. (whatever happened remember that you got to practice and probably learned something)

If you're a guy who's generally shy you probably have a pretty pessimistic attitude and are not even aware of this.

Deny the negative chatter box in your head from affecting your emotions and mood. You have to counter and shut off any negative thoughts and keep on trekking!

Learn from the experience. How did your state/ positive attitude affect the interaction? What did you learn about staying engaged in the conversation and persistence?

Even I have nights where I'm rejected countless times but still end up having a good time. Maybe I'll meet some interesting characters, or just chill and have some good conversations.

A week ago I had such a 'bad' night, probably because I was in a negative state already. My anxiety felt like it was creeping back and I was letting it get the most of me. I kept trying to pump up my state and had a lot of bad reactions from girls.

Anyways at the end of the night I ended up meeting a girl who I have a date with tonight.

What does this prove?

That persistence pays off especially in this game.

If I had let my mood get the most of me I would have given up, but I kept trying to have a good time and finally connected with someone...

Make every interaction a learning experience... good luck

.

Einstein's Views of 'Pick Up'

2008-08-04T17:39:00.000-07:00

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else."

-Albert Einstein

Ok... maybe this wasn't meant to apply to attracting women, but it definitely can. AND it applies to all of LIFE's ventures...

This sums it up:

learn the rules, skills etc... then APPLY them...

PLAY the game, don't just learn the rules

Inspiration...

2008-08-03T22:37:00.000-07:00

http://video.aol.com/video-detail/marlie-casseus-says-thank-you/18296016

Here's a short video about an inspiring little girl who delt with a 16 pound bone-tumor in her face!

These sorts of stories are inspiring... we should be grateful for who we are and happy with what we have

...at the same time we need to stay motivated and strive to be better!

Why Beautiful Women Marry Less Attractive Men

2008-08-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.livescience.com/health/080410-couples-beauty.html

Don't use looks as an excuse...

Work on qualities of being a man like confidence, assertiveness, sense of humor, personality, goals, positive attitude, and even some dating theory.

You CAN change with hard work and perseverance...

LR: 'Saved the Day' for a Girl on a Date

2008-08-01T17:02:00.000-07:00

First off I in no way advocate stealing a man's women, especially not a girl who has been dating a guy for a while. I do however think it's a dog-eat-dog world and you have to get what comes with the skills you acquire... ;)p

Why is it good to keep in touch with MANY women?

Well last night I was out to meet women with a wing...

I happened to run into a girl that I got a number of a while back. We had been texting back and forth, but I have too many other things going on so I hadn't set up a time to meet with her...

I keep in touch with lot's of women and when it's convenient we meet

She's a hot young Italian/Spanish girl.

Funny thing is she was out with someone as well... a date with some lame douche...

We just happened to be right behind the two love birds in line. I merely acted happy to see her, which I was. because she looked hot.

The guy she's on a date with is a cocky, tall, good looking guy. When I chat her up he scowls at me with his head cocked back...I'm thinking...ok whatever

Since he's being dickish I just ignore him. The girl and I talk a little then I say hey good to see you. I'll see you inside ;).

In line I overhear them talking and he was trying to win her over by telling her how he was going to Ibiza, he also brags about where he lives his etc yawn etc...

...Tool...

Anyways I do my normal thing in the night club talking to women etc...

Then at 1 am I text her:

"Hey how come you're cheating on me!"

She responds in 5 min calls me up a bit inebriated:

She wants me to come over immediately.

She's a bit camera shy

I gladly do so and spend the night...

Before sex she asked me why I was ignoring her and talking to other girls all night. I'm like WTF!? You were on a date I didn't want to bother you etc...

She says her date was "boring as hell"

Anyways, we have great sex (she was super kinky) and she thanks me for ''saving the day"

Afterwards, I ask her if she liked the guy and where she met him, and she replies, "He is friends with a friend of mine and wanted to meet me. He was good for free drinks"

...wow

I wonder what that guy was thinking when he saw us chat at first... she really perked up seeing me and seemed miserable when she was talking to him...

I wonder if that's why he seemed so defensive and stand-offish when he first saw me... it's like he sensed something

If he only knew what happened after their date man that would be devastating...

Moral of the story is if you're like this guy, you have to work on yourself and do what you can to change.

The guy was obviously on the date in a needy, 'impress the girl' frame. He was trying to impress her in every way unsuccessfully, not acting on his own intentions. He should have vibed and had fun with her for himself, but instead felt the need to kiss up and brag about himself...

It comes back to two types of guys: the 'lover' and the 'provider'...

The lover makes the girl feel good, sexually excites her, dazzles her, charms her etc...

The provider makes her feel secure financially and in the long run. He does what the woman wants and kisses up to her in every way especially when it involves money.

He puts women on a pedestal (when women and men are actually equals) feeling the need to control the situation by constantly giving and pleasing the women.

He's basically the guy that the woman makes 'wait' for sex. He's safe and secure, and doesn't stir up any emotions in women.

I'm the lover of women because I enjoy women on an EQUAL level and just vibe and have fun with them... He knows what he wants in women and goes for it. The lover is attractive to women at an deep, innate level.

I know how to excite the girl emotionally and make things sexual...

Any girl would much rather have a good time with me and have great sex than go on another average boring date by another typical guy.

At least right now when I'm single... ;)

The Barry Kirkey Radio Show

2008-07-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Ha ha ha!

The Barry Kirkey Radio Show
revolution31.com/blog

For those of you who know of 'the seduction community' there's a pretty funny 'shock' radio show by this guy Barry who used to be known as 'Twenty Six'.

(Side note: For those of you who don't know about the 'seduction community'. It's a mainly online community of guys who study seduction and pick up theory for meeting women. I was pretty deep into it a couple years ago as part of my self-improvement, but then started doing my own thing more. I think if you do get into the community use it to better yourself, but also be your own person and don't let it dictate who you are... more on my views on the community)

Anyways, Barry is similar to Howard Stern and parodies the community and makes fun of a lot of the weird creepy 'pick up artist' type guys and their egos

Me and my friends have been making imitating a lot of the sound bites from the show which are pretty hilarious... (we like to just have fun when we hit on women)

Check it out it's pretty damn funny stuff!

Who's Happier, Men or Women?

2008-07-31T13:29:00.000-07:00

ABC News Article:

Who's Happier, Men or Women?

This article speaks for why so many men feel unsatisfied and frustrated, especially young men...

In this study they found that women are happier than men until the age of around 48 years.

The study looks at satisfaction in finances and family in particular, but really if you're unsatisfied in one aspect of life, then you're probably generally unsatisfied with ALL aspects.

So many variables are involved with the reasons for happiness with men and women, but one variable has to do with how young women are treated in society versus young men.

Social conditioning has made it difficult to achieve satisfaction for young men... in the dating world for instance, we're expected to be the 'chasers', we have trouble getting into night clubs, where women can just walk in if they have a sexy dress, we're expected to make the first move, etc...

Society structures men into 'wusses', which are very unattractive to women. Men are expected to be typical 'nice guys'...

This makes men even sadder and they feel the need to try harder to impress and court women. It's like a negative cycle, men watch movies and other media and expect to get results by modeling them.

Thus young men are very frustrated...

So society makes it so much more difficult for men... A man's level of success is judged mainly by how he carries himself, his personality, ambitions and material wealth.... not just 'looks'.

A young woman just has to dress up, slap on make up and look good to get attention from people.

That's why there are a million materials, like magazines and beauty products, for making women 'look' better.

If a woman wants to get laid all she has to do is dress up and go out to a nightclub...

With time woman's looks degrade and she receives less attention in many of life's facets.

play on playas

A lot of guys work really hard in their careers to overcome unhappiness early in life because they think that most of it stems from material things, but to be genuinely happy I think you need to feel satisfaction on another level.

Really knowing all the above should be MOTIVATION to improve yourself at a core level in all aspects of your life...

It's a mix of just feeling good and happy with yourself as well as having achieved many feats in life.

The first part of the mix is hard to quantify, but has to do with fully accepting yourself, and having core confidence.

The second part is easier to quantify, but relates to the first...for instance being able to attract women consistently makes you satisfied with yourself.

This is why you have to improve yourself on many levels... always growing

There are so many variables to happiness and no one seems to truly know how to achieve it fully...

PS... this is a good debate to talk to women about, as long as you don't get too frustrated with it...you can use it as an interesting subject to talk about on a date with women or when out

FR: Night Out

2008-07-29T16:11:00.000-07:00

I went out over the wkend and ended up making out with this cute 19 yo (with fake ID of course)

She had amazing legs and a super hot ass...it's ON!

I just went total direct intent up to her and started chatting her up.

At first she was taken back especially because she was with a bunch of her friends (girls are always afraid of being judged as 'slutty' in front of them)

So of course she kept giving me shit tests (a girl giving you a hard time to test if you're 'worthy' and can handle her 'abuse')...

She was actually quite mean at first.

What I did was just won her over with my friendly positive nature. Acting just as much indifferent to her shit tests, then continuing to talk to her as friendly as possible...

Also, her guy friends were hovering around her like a bunch of body guards....

So I left her to deal with them and went off to talk to other chicks... then when I met with her again and she was alone (when you're one-on-one with a girl is the best time to make your move. doing it in front of her friends is a total faux pas)...

We made out and it was on!

She even ended up giving me a hickie, which I actually find annoying (she's 19 so i'll let it slide)

Yumm ;)

GET THE F*** OUT OF YOUR HEAD

2008-07-28T18:38:00.000-07:00

This applies to new guys, shy guys, and guys who still have 'approach anxiety' (they feel anxious when approaching women, often avoiding women all together).

I've met a lot of guys who have been actively working on attracting women for a while and are still very anxious when approaching women.

This usually stems from a FEAR of REJECTION (letting a rejection affect you personally) or PERFECTIONISM (feeling the need to always have the 'right thing to say' or and over-thinking while out)...

(It's OK to sometimes just kick back and chill when you're out having fun, and not approach women, BUT if you see a woman you like and feel 'approach anxiety' then there's a problem. Also, sometimes depending on your mood you may still feel some approach anxiety every now and then)

So to get good you need to get out of your head...

Stop fearing rejection and stop seeking perfect approaches...

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

When you're in field thinking too much ruins your game...

You ultimately want things to just VIBE and FLOW.

A guy who naturally attracts women doesn't think so much when he's out hitting on women.

He may have a few stories or lines he regularly uses, but most of the interaction becomes improvisational.

The only thing he thinks about is getting the woman into bed, or getting a kiss...in a positive, fun way, not in a catastrophic way like shy guys do.

That's how to truly be natural.

It's OK to brain storm, plot, plan or whatever when you're at home. You can even have a few lines to use if it helps you not think so much.

But when you're in field you should try to merely 1) get in a good mood and 2) think about how to have more fun.

If you're shy or have approach anxiety it's most likely that you have Automatic Negative Thoughts (or ANTs).

ANTs are untrue thoughts that occur quickly and are so deeply ingrained in our beliefs. They can form into an emotional or behavioral response (ie: blushing, stuttering, assuming that a girl will give you a 'bad reaction' or 'not having anything to say')

For guys who are shy, in a social situation one's mind works uncontrollably and usually negatively.

Ultimately we try to AVOID situations because of these 'faulty', negative thoughts.

You have to combat any negative thinking like ANTs by asking yourself is this really rational thinking or am I just catastrophizing a normal situation.

For instance when you're at a bar and see a girl you like and have a thought pop up like:

"If I talk to her she will give me a bad reaction. She probably wants to be left alone. I don't have enough to offer her... I'm worthless" etc

You have to quickly counter that with a rational statement like:

"People go to bars to interact socially and have fun. If she has a problem with me then who the fuck gives a shit. If she has a bad attitude, that's her problem There are plenty of women out there" [smiling :)]

Do this with ANTs thoughts throughout the day and especially when you're actively approaching women.

The goal is to think more rationally and say stuff to yourself like, "Women like meeting me. I'm interesting and fun, if they do have a problem I won't let it get me down. I'm here to have a good time."

Remember not everyone is going to like you... The more you approach women the more you will realize this. It's completely OK to get bad reactions and you will definitely get them if you take attracting women seriously.

There are a million reasons why women react poorly, often it doesn't involve YOU, but is HER problem. ie. She could just be in a bad mood, she could have low self esteem, she could have just broken up with an asshole boyfriend, she only likes guys with 5 tattoos or more and a bunch of piercings, she could have just been rejected so feels shitty, she could even have anxiety herself!....

I still get some bad reactions from women. Sometimes it affects me emotionally a little, but I will counter it immediately by reminding myself that I already have plenty of women in my life and think of all my success.

Even the other night I met a girl who first reacted to me negatively. I tried to talk to her and she just turned around with a scowl on her face. Later I opened her friend and the previous girl got in my face, started talking to me and getting my number... I even reminded her that she had 'rejected' me earlier and she completely denied it!!

After countering your negative thoughts, you want to shift your perspective to be more positive.

Thinking positively makes you 'dumb down' your mind and not think incessantly and negatively.
Some of the BEST guys with women I've seen have the most positive outlook towards life and don't think much about picking up a girl...

To them NOTHING can change their positive attitude... let alone a bad reaction from a woman

If they get bad reactions from a woman they merely are unaffected, then either move on to another woman or just keep talking until they win that girl over.

They just go for the girl...

They don't fear failure at all.

They don't over-think about what could go wrong.

They're like the pick up energizer bunny...They keep going and going...

So in the end you want to apply a positive mindset towards life and women and it will ultimately lead to success.

It will also make you shut off your mind and any automatic negative thoughts

The most important thing is to take some ACTION and get real EXPERIENCE. You can even do this by progressively getting your feet wet with women (start off by just making eye contact with 10 women, then say 'Hi' to 10 women, asking 10 women questions, ....progressively. depending on your anxiety levels).

It's also really good to have friends or wingmen who can push you, or get guys who are already good to take you out. Learn from people who are better than you.

For more information about overcoming shyness you can check out this resource:

The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook, Fourth Edition

by Edmund Bourne

Video of Kiss 'Rejection'

2008-07-21T16:06:00.000-07:00

Someone sent me this video of a guy named Alex who is supposedly an instructor for "real social dynamics" getting a 'bad' reaction from a girl he met.

Most of the comments on Youtube are negative...I agree that he's kind of crass, and doesn't really gage the situation well, but I think he was just trying to have fun.

I don't really know the background of the vid, but I think it shows that even guys who are 'good' can get a 'bad' reaction. What I saw in this video is that this guy isn't outocome dependent. (it didn'te really affect his attitude or state after she turned down the kiss)

I don't think he even gave a shit about her not kissing him. He just yelled at her to stop, went right up to her, and she didn't kiss him. No big deal...

I think it is a good learning experience to push yourself until you get rejected just to know how it feels and become immune to it.

Anyways not every reaction goes super smooth. It's how you react to a rejection that shows your true self. The guy in the video didn't seem to care and kept pushing.

My 'game' is totally different from this guy, but there are many ways to 'get the girl'. I give him props for having balls like that to just stop a girl in her tracts and go for a kiss... it looked like he was doing it for fun.

A lot of guys are so scared of getting rejected, But guys who are naturally good with women have been rejected countless times... they just brush it off and move on to other hot women.

One guy posted a YouTuve comment that, "The video is painful to watch" ...but really who gives a shit? He went in for the kiss at the wrong time, but did it from a fun-frame and didn't care.

If you have the balls to do an approach like that then you can probably learn to tone it down and get a girl easy...

Here's a little excercise

Why don't you all try to go out and try getting 'rejected' like this guy. Just do it a few times at a club or out at a book store. The first time it might feel shitty, but soon you will realize it doesn't really matter.

If you develop a strong wall and just don't give a damn, then you will lose your approach anxiety.

You become immune to rejection and become stronger by doing so. Becoming indifferent to rejection is essential to being good with women.

Life

2008-07-18T16:23:00.000-07:00

Adriana Lima is sooo hot!

Life is too short to feel miserable...

Getting Good With Women: Goals, Acceptance, Attitude

2008-07-17T20:33:00.001-07:00

So I've been getting lots of emails and comments on how I changed. People are mainly asking what they can do specifically to change themselves.

Well it took me many years and lots of failure and pain to get through. Even in my learning experience I made a lot of poor decisions which I learned from.

I'd say to get over general shyness it can take years depending on your motivation, attitude, and willingness to change.

At first I avoided social situations so I would not have to feel any sort of social pain.

In highschool for instance I avoided girls: never asked girls to dance, didn't make eye contact with girls, didn't even talk to them in class, and shyed away from any girl I had an attraction for.

To begin to bring about drastic life change you have to first step outside yourself and objectively observe.

Write down some of your goals with women and life (for instance what types of women you want in your life or what type of lifestyle you want to have), then ask yourself:

Am I in a path that is leading me towards my goals?

What do I need to work on most to accomplish them?

Am I really willing to make this change?

Am I willing to let go of my old self and do what it takes to get better?

(Go ahead and write down the answers to these questions on a peice of paper then tuck in a drawer somewhere. It will probably change during your journey)

In highschool when I was somewhat of a nerd, I thought I didn't really have a problem.

I avoided social situations and was really awkward around hot girls. I was perfectly fine wasting away my free time on video games or watching TV. The whole time having absolutely no girls in my life.

In college I accepted that I had a problem and began working on it. I was at a really low point so this allowed me to completely let go and get help. At the time I had problems with anxiety and depression so I chose professional help.

The most important thing I learned from this is to accept myself for who I am and to not focus so much on what others think of me.

Having my first girlfriend when I was 18 was another awesome learning experience.

(I learned more from this first relationship then from anything I've read about 'pick up')

After college I wrote down my goals that I wanted with women.

The first and most important thing to start your journey to get better is to let go of your ego and accept that you need to change.

You have to accept that you will go through a lot of SHIT before you get better. This is a long process and even if you think you might be pretty 'good' with girls, you're not nearly as GREAT as you CAN BECOME.

I was so determined my first year or so that I'd even often come upon an attractive girl who liked me and although I'd date her, I wouldn't allow things to get serious. This is because I realized that to get this part of my life handled, having a girlfriend would hinder my progress.

I knew that to become good with women I'd have to gain lot of experience with many types of women. I also knew that to grow I'd couldn't lean on anyone else.

It may seem a little cold looking back on it, but I really wanted change and was doing this to become GREAT with women, not just get a girlfriend. (Other people might have different goals, but I wanted to experience as many different women that I could in a short period of time before I settle)

Here is a list of things I did and attitudes I took when I started off 4 years ago. This is when I made a commitment to myself to get better with women specifically.

Focus all your goals on getting better with women. (this is just for a set amount of time. you have to change this at some point in this process or you will get 'stuck' into a chasing women frame)
Stay positive. (you will have to maintain this attitude if you want to build up a tough skin)
Be Motivated - this will get you to actually take ACTION instead of just 'thinking' about getting good.
Be willing to step outside of your element to get better. Keep an open mind to trying new things.
Make every interaction with women into a learning experience.
Learn from many people who are better than you with women and surround yourself with successful people. (Especially guys who are better than you)
Practice different methods of 'pick up' until you find one that you learn from the best. (also be willing to drop a method and don't make it become who you are)
GO OUT AND MEET WOMEN... Life is the best 'guru' to learn from. (this is why motivation is the most important part. ie/ how hard and dedicated you are to getting better)

DISCLAIMER: Let me go off on a tangent about the "focusing your goals towards getting better with women". A lot of guys get obsessed with this and get into a frame of always trying to entertain women etc.

When you start off this is a great way to learn quickly, but you don't want this to become who you are.

A lot of guys I've coached come to me with more lines, tactics, a strong understanding of female social psychology and pick up theory etc. They tell me they've studied every aspect of the game but still haven't been laid. Yes they are nearly virgins, and teaching men how to 'pick up' women. This is quite disturbing to me...

These guys tend to come from the online 'community' of 'pick up artists'. They learn from 'pick up gurus' who make a lot of claims that their method's are essential to getting women. Although you can learn from some of them, a lot of these supposed 'dating gurus' are basically full of shit.

They make outlandish claims about their 'close rates' with women. What they mean by this is getting girls numbers, as in a 'number close'. The only 'close' I care about is being able to consistently meet women, date them, and actually have SEX...

Let's just say a lot of these 'gurus' are good at holding women's attention and showing 'flash game' the only problem is they still haven't been laid...

mmmm...

OK So back on topic...

The above are goals and attitudes that I really pursued hardcore for the first year I got into this stuff... my process has changed now. I really don't focus on this stuff anymore, but it was that period of my life that helped me get really good.

So eventually you will drop your focus from 'getting better with women' to other things. But really when you want to get good fast, you have to almost obsess over this stuff. (ie. Any time you are out, practice making eye contact with women, or starting conversations. also constantly think of ways to become more interesting or attractive, constantly gage yourself in-field)

Also you should drop all the supposed 'guru' methods and just BE. You will eventually realize that YOU are attractive with or without a method. You'll internalize some aspects of a method and reject other parts.

Even guys who were total Social robots, who used lines and tactics as 100% of there game I learned from. (what not to do)

A lot of my learning came from going out to nighclubs and bars with guys who were 'naturals' with women. I learned 100 times more from taking action in field and learning from other people then reading any ebook, 'pick up guru' or article online.

One guy from 'the community' that I've learned from and I've taught as well is Swinggcat. I'd say that he not only has a deep understanding of pick up theory, but he actually goes out in field, dates women and has internalized this stuff enough to attract women naturally.

One of the most important things to pay attention to during this process is maintaining a positive attitude ... it's more important then any material or methods you can 'study'.

The most important thing to do to get better at attracting women is to meet LOTS OF WOMEN.

I mean a TON...

Get out there and FORCE yourself to meet them any way you can.

Get rejected.

Become immune to rejection and realize that it's going to happen in this journey for change.

To truly become attractive to women is about transforming yourself into the best possible person you can be.

This game is really about you versus yourself, not you against others. You have to tackle your inner most demons and not give up.

Soon I'll post a more in depth process and methods you can use to get better... I'll also explain what helps improve your game, and what hinders it. I personally chose a lot of methods that wasted my time, but each person is different.

You really have to learn from many methods to get better and guys who are good at attracting women, and then create your own 'method'...

What vs How

2008-07-15T12:36:00.000-07:00

Mmmm this pic inspires me to get even better with women.. what inspires you? :-)

OK back on topic...

Let me ask you a question:

Do you think it's more important WHAT you say or HOW you come off when first interacting with a woman?

When I word the question like that most of you say it's 'HOW'! (I hope)

When you interact with a girl there's often an X-factor as to why she really falls for you.

It's hard to quantify but is really a mash up of so many things you do.

Attraction is based on an emotional level, how you make her FEEL.

What you say, especially early on, is almost irrelevent.

What's more important is HOW you come off to the girl.

Your internal state, the way you feel, think, frame, and communicate the interaction is really whats important.

Are you communicating in a way that is needy or try-hard? Or are you chill, laid back, and truly enjoying the interaction for what it is?

Girls can read through games and gimmicks.

They will often laugh and get entertained by them, but they won't truly feel like, "Oh man this guy is HOT!"

And THAT is what we truly want out of an interaction with a girl...

Last night I was out on a date. After we had sex I started talking about when we first met and what attracted her to me.

First she said I wasn't her typical type of guy (I get this one all the time so I'm used to it by now)

She then said that at first she liked my 'vibe' and that i wasn't just "grabbing her in the club like a caveman". She also said that there was something genuinely 'sweet' about me.

(Though at this point I don't really even think of what I'm doing. The things that she said attracted her relate to my 4 elements of an attractive guy: I had a 'fun' vibe, showed that I was chill, made her comfortable...etc)

I asked her, "Do you even remember what line I used?"

She said, "I don't know but I'm sure it was cheesy" (smiling)

So obviously she didn't even remember what I said (I think I actually just said "I like your smile" then walked away. I later came back up to her and just started qualifying her)

It is hard to QUANTIFY how a person is attractive. It's easier to just say, "I use such and such line. Now YOU try it!" That's how a lot of guys who teach this stuff try to sell this stuff... when it's really about deep, core level changes.

Anyways, back on topic...

It's more about how I acted and communicated then what I said. The X factors were the overall vibe, my positive attitude, my interesting personality, my non-neediness etc.

These are values that involve HOW I act versus WHAT I say.

Communicate in a way that is compelling and interesting, without conveying neediness. So when you meet a girl say things with enthusiasm. Talk about what interest you and how you actually feel (but remember to gage yourself some what. ie don't just go up and say,"I want to fuck you")

I speak to women in a way that is loud and assertive, but not domineering. I also speak very slowly, which comes of non-tryhard. To develop this you have to test it out while in field...

Feel great when your talking to her. The interaction should be fun for you. You shouldn't be doing it to impress the girl or win her over. It's about you both equally enjoying each other.

Frame an interaction like you are just trying to get to know the girl to see if SHE is cool. (You are the selector)

Basically you are somewhat qualifying her, but doing so in a non-threatening way. You want to always take into consideration comfort levels when qualifying a woman, because you can make her feel really uneasy. No one likes getting grilled with questions...

The most important thing is to get out and try a bunch of things AND feel GOOD while you're doing them!

Cocky Funny is about Listening

2008-07-14T19:12:00.000-07:00

A lot of guys who give advice for attracting women say it's good to be 'cocky funny'

They do this by teaching lines to men like, "Hand's off the merchandise, this shit ain't free". To a girl who they're hitting on.

While this can be quite funny, it can be overused and becomes a crutch for the guy using it.

It also gets guys stuck in their head about 'what to say next'

Get out of your head...

Some guys try to use a million of these lines and they end up becoming a defensive shell that actually stifle a REAL interaction. Then they wonder why they aren't getting laid.

'Cocky Funny' is all about LISTENING and responding to what's going on in an interaction.

It's about giving and taking from an interaction in a funny, confident way.

It's not about being stuck in your head thinking of something 'cute'.

Don't fish around in your head just enjoy the interaction for what it is. Learn a little about the girl and use it to playfully banter.

Cocky and funny is really about flirting and flow.

When you are bantering with a girl you should be constantly aware of what's going on in the interaction.

If she says something, LISTEN to how she's saying it and RESPOND in a way that is witty.

It should come off playful, not offensive. You should also do it from an inner-frame that you're just having fun, not trying to tool a girl.

This comes with practice and will not happen over night (which is why I think learning some lines is good for newer guys to give them examples), but if you've been doing this for a while and still don't get results then you really need to focus on other aspects of your game.

Focus externally on what she is saying while focusing on the frame that you're just out to have fun and be playful with her.

Don't defeat yourself in this game by getting stuck completely in your head.

So the next time you hit on a girl try LISTENING to what she says then responding to it.

Focus more on what she is saying instead of trying to pull out the next line...

YOU become what attracts the woman not the lines you spew...

alright i gotta run, i have a date with this chick

NEWBIE TIP:

This is more for advanced guys... when you start off hitting on girls you can focus more on what to say etc. also you can be more cocky in an interaction just to test things out, but as you grow you can tone it down. This is until you internalize things and make them your own...

Quality Girls at Bars and Clubs

2008-07-11T21:08:00.001-07:00

Guys who say that you can't find quality women at bars and clubs usually are not good at attracting women at bars and clubs...

I've met doctors, lawyers, models, actresses, grad students, writers, students at top universities, artists, musicians, pharmacists, business owners...women from all walks of life out at bars/clubs and the majority are HOT.

If you have the belief that women of quality are hard to find, or you can't find them in bars/clubs, it's probably because you need help with your game

I'm not saying this to be a douche, but just want to open some guys minds up to reality...

FR: Using social proof and female jealousy.

2008-07-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

Last night something happened which was quite funny, 2 girls got into a full out confrontation over me.

Whenever I'm out I try to meet as many chicks as possible especially early on.

The reason for this is 1) to get myself warmed up and in a good state 2) it creates 'social proof' 3) it makes girls jealous of each other

1) If you're shy like me, then getting warmed up is essential to getting pumped up and feeling good.

2) I basically like to make as many 'allies' in a club and have learned to actually enjoy meeting people just to meet them.

3) Jealousy can really spark attraction. Women are innately very territorial. Showing a woman that there are many women who are attracted to you creates jealousy and shows that you are a sought after guy.

(I don't recommend making girls jealous all the time to play constant mind-games especially if you're in a relationship, but in a club it's really just a 'game' to get the women you want. This is just a tactic to spark deeper attraction.)

So last night I did a bunch of short sets...just meeting a bunch of girls and getting their numbers and even a couple kisses early on...I met maybe like 6 girls in the first hour out.

Later I met a girl who I thought was very attractive. We hit it off and start making out and grinding on the dance floor etc.

Some of the girls I met earlier would come up to me and my girl on the dance floor and just say 'hello' showing I had options.

We made out a little more then walked out.

Then the big fight of the night transpired...one of the earlier girls saw us as we were leaving. I'll call her Crazy Girl.

Crazy Girl was being talked to by other guys, but after seeing us together she stomped directly toward us.

Then she started confronting me about why i'm 'cheating on her' (in a sort of role play) etc

Then the Crazy girl got into my girl's face and then my girl actually started stepping up to her! They both started talking shit to each other...

Their faces were literally within 2 inches of each other.

Anyways I remained unaffected by the situation and just diffused it... I told the hotter girl that I barely know that girl and, "don't know why she likes me so much" ;)

My friends were busting out laughing... haha

My girl was in to me by this time, but the whole incident just added fuel to the fire...

I end up pulling her to my friend's place to go all the way...

The Pick Up Artist or Seduction Community

2008-07-09T11:26:00.001-07:00

For those of you who don't know about the 'seduction community' it's an online based community of guys who study seduction and pick up theory for meeting women.

It's been recently popularized by a guy named Neil Strauss wrote a book about the community and another guy named Mystery had a television show on VH1 about it [go ahead and wiki it]

I was pretty deep into it a couple years ago as part of my self-improvement, but then started doing my own thing...

I don't really like to fully associate with it because of certain negative aspects that have been associated with the community, like being a social robot, negging women, women having supposed higher social value, a lot of weird creepy guys in it, misogyny, trying too hard to impress women, dancing monkey syndrome, etc...god i could go on and on...

I mean I'm grateful for a lot of stuff I learned and most people in the community probably have good intentions, but later found out a lot of the guys in it are full of their egos, guys too obsessed about 'picking up women', guys in it just for money or phonies... but that's another story.

Like any group of people, there are good and bad... it's pretty diverse

A lot of guys get overly obsessed with the community itself and not even getting with women.

What should drive you is your love of women: interacting with them, dating them, HAVING SEX WITH THEM!!

You shouldn't be driven by trying to impress other guys especially hundreds of 'keyboard jockies' from the community. I'm in it for my love of beautiful women and self improvement...

See that's the other thing that irks me about the community is that there are a lot of phonies in it...and guys who are just in it for the money but can't lay women.

Some guys in the community are self-labled 'pick up gurus' and make a lot of claims that their particular method are the essential end all way to get women. Although you can learn from some of them (and I definitely have), a lot of these supposed 'dating gurus' are basically full of shit.

Really there are many routes or methods to get women... you have to figure out your own path that best fits who you are already...

A lot make outlandish claims about their 'close rates' with women. What they mean by this is getting girls numbers, as in a 'number close'.

They're obsessed with making the interaction with women run smooth, and look 'good'...it's called 'flash game' and not about women, but more about not getting bad reactions/rejections and protecting their own egos.

The only 'close' I care about is being able to consistently meet women, date them, and actually have SEX with hot women...

Let's just say a lot of these 'gurus' are good at holding women's attention and showing 'flash game' the only problem is they still haven't been laid... ha ha

This just shows how controversial it is...

Anyways enough ranting...

There are actually a lot of great guys in the community who are into improving themselves and other's lives which is great. I've learned a little from many and a lot inspired me to be better with women etc.

There will always be good and bad seeds in any group of people...

I think if you do get into the community use it to better yourself, but also be your own person and don't let others dictate who you are...

You can model and learn from other's but really being your true self attracts women at a core level...

Always remember that your morals and standards for yourself are of utmost importance for being becoming a guy naturally attractive to women and more importantly an enlightened person...

Best Pick Up Line

2008-07-08T11:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I got an email from a disgruntled guy asking why I don't share what lines I'm using in my field reports.

It's OK I'm not keeping any 'magic bullet' from you... I promise :)

Well buddy it honestly doesn't matter what you say... when you're cool...

...OK let me rewind a second. It's really easy for me to say this now having been actively working on myself for 4 years plus.

But girls have the ability to size you up within seconds of meeting you. They will see through your lines... some might even be friendly, but they definitely won't sleep with a loser.

It really comes down to being 'cool' and being 'cool with yourself'.

'Being cool with yourself' is the most important part, just showing that you like yourself and are a generally positive person. Basically having confidence and self-worth.

When people start actively pursuing women they often have issues with low self-esteem, negativity, shyness, depression, or all of the above (like me)

To become 'cool' they come up with indirect lines and routines (which I believe actually work if you come from a good place. I believe that it does help to know internalize how to 'push pull', have cool stories, know interesting/funny things etc, but lines shouldn't be relied entirely to replace your real personality)

If you constantly beat around the bush with women by using canned lines and gimmicks you are not yourself, and girls will see through this (you might get girls to enjoy your entertainment but they sure as hell won't sleep with you).

Material/lines also allow you to blame things on your 'game' instead of working on deeper issues.

Like I've said before, some lines are good, but UNDERSTANDING the theory behind the lines and INTERNALIZING them is what makes you great.

Note for newbies:

I think these lines/routines are essential when you start off because they totally help you with socializing. Just have a couple lines or interesting things you can talk about and go out a bunch of times to experiment them.

It's important when you start off to socialize as much as possible and using lines as crutches is fine. Being 'indirect 'while hitting on a chick is a great way to talk to women and allows you to do so for a long time while avoiding rejection

There is a method for new guys to get into this stuff quick using canned materials etc.

BUT at some point you have to realize that this shit isn't linear... yes life is not a science.

I have a degree in in psychology, but that doesn't make me great with interacting with people. Similarly, knowing female psychology and studying the way social interactions works makes you a great scientist, but not great with women. (it helps to know the basics, but not essential to becoming good)

It's like memorized stand-up comedy versus improv.

You know what? I will give you a line to try in a bar or club if you've been in this for a while running routines and community-stuff for a while and want a little change...

This is what I use all the time. First pump up your state and attitude by opening girls the way you normally do and get talkative by chatting up people.

Then go up to the first group of girls you see with nothing planned in your head and say, "Now what the heck is goin on over here?!" then sit back and pause with a slight smile.

I use this line all the time and it works SO well. It's kind of hard to explain but you have to say it assertively, accusatory, sternly but mainly with a lot of playfulness (ie smile). You're probably like, "What the f....this isn't a good line" ...butI know it works because I've used it to meet so many of my girlfriends/hookups. Also just really don't give a fuck when you say it, but still be friendly.

This demonstrates that you're a fun cool guy who doesn't really give a fuck that much...

It's the actions you make and the deep understanding of the principles that make you develop true social and emotional intelligence...

This sort of low-caliber line makes you build up real skills when you use it in field a lot, (while having the right attitude and frame.)

So, after chatting them up for a little, tell the girl you have to go find your other friends and leave. If you do this all night and meet a lot of girls your momentum will start flowing and you will get in such a good state that nothing else will matter.

Exiting a set will leave them wanting more, it's the ULTIMATE take away. If you're in a big club it can also give you lots of 'allies' (basically social proof, and girls who will further your game later). They can come up to you later in the night, create jealous among other chicks etc.

This game is more about the way you ACT and DO versus what you SAY.

Demonstrate to the girls that you are not-needy and a cool guy, don't just spew out lines.

When you've been in this for a while ween yourself from scripted material, deep down you will develop an understanding of the game and internalize the theory.

I say read all you want at home, learn lines do whatever the fuck makes you happy, but when you're in field you don't want to THINK yourself to death.

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD!

Just go in with an easy line and the right attitude, then go with the flow...

The most important things to learn are, being funny, confidence, how you deal with rejection, positive attitude, story-telling, how to not give a fuck about others' criticism ie being unreactive, vibing, female psychology, controlling your emotions, your mood, etc.

basically social intelligence, self-esteem, and emotional intelligence. Not a list of lines.

So GO OUT and get EXPERIENCE.

The most important thing to do is HAVE FUN...

Alright gotta get back to work ~peace!,

Will

Experience

2008-07-07T16:26:00.001-07:00

After you get experience things become so clear.

That's why it's so essential to not only get advice, learn theory, have role-models to follow....

But to also apply it in every aspect of your life.

This is really up to the actions you take in life, not just learning and thinking about things

Sunday night insanity....

2008-07-07T15:29:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to this 18 and over club in Hollywood with Swinggcat. Whenever we go out we just have tons of fun and push each other. We start the night just making fun of people and shooting the shit...in a lighthearted way

Although we're constantly having FUN, we recently started 'bootcamping' each other again, basically pushing each other into ridiculously hard sets or having to open girls with ridiculous statements. Last night I opened girls with, "I don't know where the keys to my car is. Do you know where they are?" In the past I've opened girls with, "Whatsup slutter?" Then proceeded in calling each girl slut number 1, slut number 2 etc. (this is done in a completely calm, fun, playful way) This is just to push and test myself...not done in a mean way.

Anyways I felt a little out of state when we first got in because the place was so empty, but Swinggcat bootcamped me into opening a group of 4 girls. It's funny even when I warm up, I often have a little reluctance to open the first set (my shyness creeps back), even though it usually goes well.

Well it DID go well. I opened them with, "The heck is going on here?!"
I say this with a bit of accusation, a bit of dominance, and a lot of playfulness.

They just say bla-bla we're out partying... whatever. I directly move to the hottest girl who is a 19 year old blonde :-D and chat her up about whatever. She actually has a very good personality, which can be uncommon with young girls. Swinggcat takes over with the rest of the girls and I see he's in with another cutie.

After like 10 minutes we take picutres and peck on the lips. (I love using the camera for roleplaying)

Then we start making out hardcore.

We make out some more, exchange numbers, and then I leave to game other chicks.

After this I go to the dance floor where things are starting to really pick up, I get a few bad reactions and blow outs while I 'Kamikaze' the dance floor, basically bust into groups of girls dancing crazy with a lot of direct intent.

Then I see Swinggcat talking to some hot 19-21 year olds. (Man I love young chicks :-))

I go in to meet them. They're probably the hottest girls on the dance floor, so we pull them outside to the patio. The girl I'm talking to is trying to give me some attitude, but I see through her bullshit and see that she's really just shy. I tone my game down a little, but still bust her balls and to make it fun for myself.

She was actually really hot, but I could tell she was very young and unsocialized. After talking some more I realize she just turned 18.

We decide to have fun with these girls despite their 'attitude'. We bust on them a little, but they barely understand humor...boring. I end up getting the girls number, but at this point I'm totally disinterested. Basically too young... NEXT!

It's funny how girls who are really young or very shy often put up defenses like a 'bad attitude' but once you break it down you can just win them over.

I go back to the dance floor where I do some more "Kamikaze game" It goes well a couple times, but a few times I get blown out. What it does do, if done right, is give me some social proof while having a lot of fun.

Next I'm walking around and Swinggcat goes right up to the hottest girls in the club and introduces me to one. We immediately hit it off. I show interest, then do a couple take aways and just show her that I'm fucken cool. I start bouncing her around the club holding hands like we've been together for years. It creates this whole frame of us being 'lovers'.

She is absolutely stunning. She's definitely the hottest chick in the club. She's tall, has a fantastic body, and a beautiful face. Yummy!

We go outside to get some fresh air and kiss when some Russian dudes try to hit on her right away. I merely introduce myself and keep smiling... it completely diffuses them. These guys start asking me opinions on random stuff, but I'm busy with my girl. One of the guy even wants my number. I give it to him, but I'm a little confused, maybe these guys are puas ...LOL.

Me and my girl go back in to grind on the dance floor and make out some more. It turns out she's just 19...mmmm (thank you lord). When I tell her my age she acts very shocked, but I just act completely calm and reframe ... she's totally fine with it. We exchange numbers at the end of the night and set up a date for later this wk.

I meet up later with Swinggcat and see him talking to this hot young girl... she's 21 and apparently they had just had sex in the back of the club...LOL

This guy is the master of having sex in the most random places, bathrooms, crowded balconies, alleys, cars. I told him to write a book about it... haha

Some key points are to never let blowouts or staled-out sets affect you. Every time it happens I know that later in the nights things WILL get better. Anyways, everything should be a learning experience... It's especially important for guys starting off to realize this, but I still feel this way at this point in my game

~Will

FAILURE

2008-07-03T23:02:00.001-07:00

Get over it...

There's VALUE behind FAILURE!

It's called LEARNING

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-Thomas Edison

Making mistakes and getting rejected are necessary steps towards SUCCESS

(It's only if you do NOTHING that you have been defeated. So get your ass back up and take ACTION!)

Muhammad Ali - The World Champion

2008-07-01T12:54:00.000-07:00

If you can apply Muhammad Ali's MINDSET to YOUR aspirations with women and life you will be GREAT too:

He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life.

I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.''

I know where I'm going and I know the truth, and I don't have to be what you want me to be. I'm free to be what I want.

A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life.

Muhummad Ali

LR: On a Date, Running Into 'Pick up' guys.

2008-07-01T00:34:00.001-07:00

I went out with this blond chick the other day...

For a first time meet up I usually just go out for drinks or something casual.

She's quite talkative, so I just kick back, asking questions mainly and listening.

I'm a good listener...which is something a lot of people who get into picking up women are as well, but don't practice enough.

We start off at a bar that's pretty chill then end up at this bar with a small dance floor.

Some guys come up to us and start asking our opinion on things etc and I just let them do their thing. They asked us, well mainly my girl, whether one of them looks better with or without glasses.

I smiled and gave them my actual opinion.

One of them starts engaging my girl, and I don't resist it at all. I just kind of sit back and see where it's going. I chat up the other guy for a while. He's pretty nice, but taken back by how friendly I am.

They were actually nice guys, but they were just a little too indirect, needy and try-hard.

Afterwards I ask my date what she thought of those guys and she said they were, "obviously gay".

Ha ha ha...

Later she invites me in but says, "No sleeping over".

I agree...that would be a no-no

I end up sleeping over anyways... :)

Meditation and Mindfulness Intro

2008-06-25T18:12:00.001-07:00

There are both physical and mental components which can hinder interactions with women.

Meditation and mindfulness is a way to overcome both aspects of fear with women and a means to conquer anxiety and stress in general....

Mindfulness is difficult to explain. It's not a science like psychology so it makes it more difficult to explain.

Practicing mindfulness allows you to be calmer and more aware during an interaction. It's about being present and fully in the moment.

It reveals who you are and allows you to understand the mind in a different way than psychology or rational theory.

Mindfulness and meditation allows you to slow down your physiological response and allows you to achieve greater social freedom. If you slow your breathing down you can stop your bodies' "fight or flight response", which is triggered by fear.

There's an unlimitted amount of benefits to mindfulness and meditation. It doesn't just relate to attracting women.

Types of meditations include:

Samatha: where you concentrate on a visual or mental object. This calms your mind and leads you towards inner-peace.

Insight or Vipassana: which literally means 'clear sight'. Is not only calming but allows you to have more insight.

Recommended Reading:

The Miracle of Mindfulness
By Thich Naht Hahn

The Power of Now
By Eckhart Tolle

FR: Cooling Off By the Pool

2008-06-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those HOT, sweaty, days in LA, so I needed to cool off....

Since it was so sizzling hot I went to a friend's place with a pool and just chill... but lately I've been trying to make the most of my time.

It was actually my 2008 New Years resolution to manage my time better, and even use my lazy down-time 'productively'.

One thing I've been doing is going on 'spur of the moment' dates if I have nothing else going on but couch potatoing.

So instead of just spending Sunday alone at the pool I start texting girls to join me. Around noon I merely mass text: "It's sizzling...come cool off at the pool with me ;-)".

Out of 5 girls, I got one on the phone who didn't already have plans or wasn't too lazy to drive out.

We swam a little, had a couple drinks, then I took her into a bedroom to go all the way...

Basically, once you have the momentum going in this game, it becomes all about logistics, managing your time and just meeting lots of women.

Once you learn the basic ways of attracting girls (which only takes months) you have to develop the correct mindset (which takes longer) and TAKE ACTION. Even during your learning phase you should get experience under your belt. USE the tools that are available.

Put yourself out there. It's the only way you can get real world experience.

Soon attracting women becomes easy... So, stop reading and start DOING!!

Remember, my journey started off with a year-long sex drought. Now I'm basically managing my time between going out to meet new women, meeting with my current women, and having alone time ...

~Will

STOP What Your Doing and Start Taking Action

2008-06-21T19:16:00.000-07:00

What are you really in this game for?

Do you think winning this game only entails holding a girls attention and getting a girl smiling?

You only win when you have sex with a girl and can consistently attract women without the fear of rejection.

Have you been in this game for a while?:

Studied a crap load of material?

Learned a deluge of lines and techniques?

Studied tons of social strategies and female psychology?

Play this game in your head like it's a game of CHESS?

Yet still don't get laid on a regular basis....

Then you need to STOP

Stop beating around the bush with the REAL women you want to meet.

Stop going out meeting women just to end up entertaining them like a monkey.

Stop having 1 hour long conversations at a bar with a girl without escalating.

Stop being happy when you get a girls number, only to find out later that she doesn't want it to go any further.

Start pushing yourself past your comfort zone. Get out there, meet tons of women. Have fun. Enjoy it for what it is, and don't approach this like it's an exact science. Try being more direct once in a while. Take some initiative and don't be afraid to show a girl that you like her. It's OK to get rejected, rejection is one of the BEST learning experience.

Always work to improve yourself, but also enjoy an interaction with a woman for what it really is.

This isn't difficult. The game is quite easy if you let it be.

~Will

(I do believe it's alright to use a lot of 'MATERIAL' when you start off as training wheels, but at some point you need to push yourself past this phase and evolve into a real MAN. Answer the questions above truthfully then think about if what your doing is really getting you the results you want)

The Cycle of a 'Nice Guy'

2008-06-20T00:02:00.001-07:00

hells yeah....

so i've been on such a roll lately.

This year, 2008, I've had sooo much utter success with women it's been pretty damn insane.

When I started getting into this game I had a such a low self-esteem and was super shy around girls.

I had a negative approach towards women...basically a defense mechanism.

I'd act like a cocky-funny douchebag machine...like I'd constantly feel the need to play games (well i still play games, but it's from a good frame), I'd try to manipulate, I'd try to bring the girl's frame down, etc.

Anything she said I'd think was a test....

I thought I had to do a bunch of STUFF to win the girl over...

But when you come full circle you can return to your 'nice guy' roots

It's about having value. I have value because I am a positive, cool guy with good intentions.

The girls in my life see this immediately and I can be as nice as I want (without being needy of course)

4 Keys to being GREAT at Natural Game

2008-06-19T21:43:00.001-07:00

Although I don't like rigid RULES for learning to attract women.... I have always followed GUIDELINES which set me in a path towards success.

I hang out with many naturals and community guys alike and have discovered that whether they are consciously aware of it or not they exhibit general attractive assets.

Once again there's no linear model that works every time. The game is like a web of a million things going on at the same time...

Having guidelines allows you to practice getting 'better' but also allows you to not over-analyze everything and shuts off the 'negative chatter box' in your head.

It's like trying to quantify or judge art. This isn't a science...

To be naturally attractive you need to focus on 4 fundamental frames or attitudes:

Fun (Interesting, Value-giver, playful)
Unreactive (Laid Back, chill, Unaffected, take-aways)
Direct Interest (Focused on Closing, 'player', Sexuality )
Comfort (Rapport)

These 4 fundamentals I've really focused on hard core to master the game.

These four can apply to any method, or approach you use towards women.
You want to calibrate between the 4 constantly, but eventually want it to naturally flow.

When you initially meet a girl you generally focus on the first 3 attitudes.

Throughout an interaction you must change up the amounts of the three depending on the time you've spent with the girl, her state/interest, her reactions, how you feel internally ... etc

You should ask questions like, "Do I need to show some direct interest?", "Am I being Fun or Playful enough", "Is it time to connect on a comfort level with her?" or "Am I reacting too much to what she says?"

Do this in a non-judgmental, non-tryhard way.

It's all a process in tweaking your game.

Another point is you don't want to get stuck in your head with "what to say to the girl next".

You want to shut off the analytical part of your brain.

Just constantly gage yourself as to how fun, direct or unreactive your being with the girl.

I will give more details on this later because I could write 500 page book on this... *yarrgg

(you can have elements of all, or focus more on one or two of the four, but basically adjust it to what works best for you. ie: I've seen some naturals succeeding being 80% direct. I've seen other 'community guys' who are mainly fun and entertaining succeed as well etc etc.)

A Note for Newbies:

When you start off you want to be actively checking yourself for the first 3 guidlines especially.

Early on I've noticed my students want to focus on being 'fun' and acting 'unreactive' (actually being unreactive is a pretty advanced concept).

It's true that these 2 are what generally attract a girl when you first meet her.

Later you'll get better at being able to show 'direct interest' and express 'comfort'.

It's always good to be aware of what you need to improve on in general and situationally.

As you internalize the 4 aspects you really just start to flow... they really internalize.

FR: Night Out in Hollywood - Dealing with Wanabe's and Pseudo-Celeb

2008-06-19T15:11:00.000-07:00

The other night was a typical night at a "Hollywood" club. (These clubs can be a bit pretentious, but more often then not I do meet some pretty cool characters at them, plus they are FULL OF HOT WOMEN)

I start my night off just vibing with cute girls and just chatting up random people.

When I go out I like to pump up my Positive Attitude by meeting everyone I can. I do this while holding the frame that other people are friendly and girls want to meet me.

(Despite having this frame sometimes girls will give you a bad reaction, where I'll merely say "NEXT" in my head)

I meet several people, a lot in the 'Hollywood' industry, most being reality shows etc. I eventually meet a stunning chick from Boston visiting her boyfriend.

In the middle of talking to her this red-faced drunk wearing a Louis Vutton man-purse gets into my face and says, "Hey why are you hitting on my girl?" bla bla.

(In my head I'm thinking... this is a 'social setting' and I'm going to be 'social' by talking to people ya dumb fuck)

But, I keep smiling and just start talking to him calmly and casually, eventually befriending him with my "happy guy" frame.

The wrong way to go about this would be to tuck my tail under my legs and run off like I'm in trouble for something wrong. or to start shit with him

He gets me a drink at his table, introduces me to some of his friends, and begins boring me about how he is about to buy a club (surrrrrrre...). I just knod while thinking about how hot the girls are around me.

It's funny that any time a guy wants to fight you can just diffuse the situation by radiating a strong, yet happy frame. It basically proves to him that you're just a chill, friendly guy and not merely some sleaze bag trying to get up on his girl. By the way, I wouldn't even go for a girl who has a long term boyfriend...

I'm not even thinking about hitting on her, I merely want to recruit her as a wing.

So after winning him over I am able to talk to his girlfriend again freely.

I ask her to come meet people with me, and she proves to be the ultimate wing-woman. On the dance floor she would literally just walk up to girls, start dancing, and then pull me into the dance circle. AWESOME!

Eventually I meet another stunning chick (looks like Elisha Cuthbert from 'The Girl Next Door' movie) by walking directly up to her and just chatting about whatever comes to mind. We dance a little then I quickly isolate her at the outdoor patio where we chat up again and I begin to escalate.

I leave her for a while (the ultimate take away) which just builds up more attraction.

Later in the night she grabs me as I'm dancing with another chick. We go outside and start chatting...

Then out of no-where this creepster pops up trying to get up on her. (Later one of my wings tells me he's a guy from the Laguna Beach show)

I guess they were in a big group together and he was trying to get with her. He tries to win her over then attempts to physically box me out. A few of their other friends come by and see that I'm cool with her...

Then he keeps yelling at me drunkenly, "and who are you? who the hell are you? who is this guy?!" (pointing)

I don't really answer because of his tone and because he was trying to be condescending. I merely stay calm and positive, letting him blow himself out by not even reacting to him.

At that point the girl actually grabs my hand and pulls me onto the dance floor again where we make out.

I later pull her out to her car and make out some more. She came with 2 friends who cockblocked and wouldn't let me take her home. We set up a date, kissed and exchanged numbers.

The point is, you can say a bunch of bull shit stories to a girl, or you can just display that you're not needy and actually a chill guy.

When you're trying to go for the REALLY hot chicks you're competing with wanabe high-rollers and even celebs.

Some Tips For Shy Guys

2008-06-18T12:29:00.000-07:00

This journey can be daunting for any guy, but it will be especially for shy guys. (This is one of the reasons why having a Positive Attitude during this process is so important). What will really make this transition faster is DETERMINATION and ACTION.

You can read a thousand "How to" books on getting women, or learn a million lines, but to truly become successful you have to change the way you THINK. You really have to get your inner-game taken care of to achieve mastery.

This happens gradually over time, but if you're really shy the good thing is that all you can really do is get better. Going from negative to POSITIVE is gradual...it takes lots of time and effort.

If you are shy then you tend to unrealistically associate negative consequences to social interactions. This can make picking up women seem especially scary, because to attract one you have to put yourself out there. It's like a horrible cycle... the irrational fear makes you avoid social situations further increasing your anxiety and vice versa.

Here are some things that made me eventually think more rationally:

When you catch yourself making a negative thought about yourself cut it off completely and think of something more rational. You can even write down the automatic negative thoughts that seem to reoccur the most. This will take time, but start doing it every time you catch yourself. Do this for a month or longer.

Then start rationalizing why you are thinking such negative thoughts about your game and write down counters to these thoughts. Basically you want to start thinking more realistically about yourself and the view of yourself from others.

Try imagining what someone who really loves you would say to you when you think negative things. This is a much more rational way of thinking than the chatter-box in your head.

Does your best friend have the same image of you that you have? Ask him. What would your mother say to you in response to your negative self talk?

The gist of transitioning from negative thought patterns to more rational one's involve:

Identifying anxious thoughts
Challenging your negative thoughts/ shifting towards rational thoughts
Replacing negative thoughts with more positive thoughts

Later you can desensitize yourself by gradually exposing yourself to situations with women. I'll talk more in depth about this later.

Your results will vary based on the EFFORT and DETERMINATION.

The ultimate goal of this is to take ACTION and actually interact with women.

All the hard work is worth it in the end!

Also, it's important to make this process fun and to keep yourself busy. Start getting active by going to the gym or running. Pick up rock climbing or bicycling or something outdoors. Keep in touch with only positive friends. Tell someone close to you that you're trying to improve yourself. Read inspirational books...

Positive Attitude

2008-06-16T14:52:00.000-07:00

Do you want the secret to success with beautiful women?

Do you want to know a way to never get blown out when you approach a hot woman?

Do you want the key to being a 'natural' with women?

The answer to these questions is that there is no BIG secret to become really good with women...it's as simple as having a POSITIVE ATTITUDE.

The 3 reasons why Positive Attitude is SO important in this game:

1) It's attractive to women.

2) It helps you deal with all the bull shit that you have to go through to get 'GOOD'.

3) It motivates you to succeed.

When you start off learning 'game' you might spend 90% of your time on material: memorizing techniques, learning lines, reading 'how to' guides, studying social psychology, etc, but after a while these parts of your game become somewhat automatic. Basically any person who can read a book can learn the techniques of 'pick up' game.

At some point in your quest to become 'good with women', you will realize that you could read yourself to death and still not get results. At this point it becomes apparent that elements of your core self such as attitude, confidence, presence, hard work, self-esteem etc will comprise the majority of your results with women.

These elements take a lot more hard work to change. A Positive Attitude will help you tackle the many obstacles you will face, keep your morale up, and motivate you during the process of change.

So the 2 main elements to getting 'good' are POSITIVE ATTITUDE and TAKING ACTION (going out, meeting women, dating, having sex etc.)

You must realize that forming a great attitude takes a long time in itself and is a continual process. Not only will having this mind frame help you take action, but it will lead to actual success, further reinforcing in your mind that you are good with women.

Guys who are willing to change their mindset over time will change who they are at a CORE level, and eventually results will simply fall into their laps!

To start developing a Positive Attitude you need to get into the mindset of others who understand the power of positive thinking. You must constantly expose yourself to this form of thought until it becomes a part of who you are.

Here are a few "classic" books on this subject to start you off with:

Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill

How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

Awaken the Giant Within - Anthony Robbins

A Positive Attitude will give you success in your journey towards being an attractive man, and will also help in the actual act of picking up women:

One thing that you can do right away is start smiling a lot, especially when you are trying to meet women. Always smile when you are out at a bar, club, or even on the street picking up women.
Try a little social experiment: when you go out to a bar next notice which guys appear more attractive to women. You'll notice that these men are not always the guys who are more physically attractive, but the guys who seem to exude confidence and have lots of positive attitude. These are the guys who will be smiling, laughing, having fun and enjoying their surroundings.

Next, adopt this attitude at all times and get out there and SMILE.

A good way to do this is to think of the funniest thing you can think of on the spot, or just joke around with your buddies to get into a laughing mood. Now walk around smiling and smile every time you approach a woman. It's simple and extremely attractive. This will make every aspect of your game easier.

Recently I took a friend out to show the 'ropes' of the pick up game. He already had been going out regularly to meet women, but knew there was something wrong with what he was doing, but couldn't pin point it. He got blown out pretty hard in his first couple encounters that night. I asked him how he thought it went and he was really hard on himself.

At that point I merely coached him a little, made him laugh, then told him to SMILE constantly. He approached his next group of women smiling and it went well, which further upped his game throughout the night. While he didn't suddenly transform into a Casanova, It's funny how something as simple as a SMILE and attitude adjustment upped his game 10 fold.

A positive attitude is the difference between someone who is just going through the motions of the game and the guys who will WIN in LIFE. These are the men who actually have lots of sex with women. The guys who come off natural and have a constant flood of women in their lives.

This fundamental attitude has been the factor that has lead to the majority of my success with women. Not just any women, but hot, smart, funny, HIGH QUALITY women!

Disclaimer--

Do I walk around all 'happy go lucky' with a big fat grin on my face ALL the time? Not at all. But I do have a slightly more positive outlook on life than a negative outlook. My overall frame towards women is that they are cute, friendly and want to meet me.

Also, I constantly work on developing and maintaining this attitude. This attitude does not come natural for a lot of us. Read inspirational stories, self improvement, surround yourself with like minded people, think happy thoughts, and live a positive life!

This attitude leads to greatness in all facets of your life.

Most importantly, to really get good you not only have to have the right POSITIVE ATTITUDE, but you have to TAKE ACTION.

Write Me!!!

2008-06-06T15:06:00.000-07:00

Feel free to email me at

Wilove2@gmail.com

Questions, comments, experiences in field, sticking points etc!

~Will

Having Options and Dealing With Flakes

2008-06-02T17:18:00.001-07:00

So last night I had a date planned with a really hot girl. She called me a few hours before the date to tell me she was too tired to drive out.

A little background: I had already made out with her and pulled her to her house when we met at a bar about 2 weeks ago. I couldn't get all the way with her that night, but we planned to meet up again.

I really wasn't too surprised when she had canceled on me because she had texted earlier that day saying that she was going to be really tired later because of work, etc.

Reasons why a girl flakes can vary from her having a boyfriend that she didn't mention to her just being too tired to go out at that time. Basically IT DOESN'T matter what her reasons are. You should always have a frame of ABUNDANCE and you should have SEVERAL hot women you are trying to get with at any one time.

When I was really working on myself to get better at picking up women I got a lot of flakes on dates. At one point I used to dwell on them and think of 20 ways to get her to change her mind. Now I realize that if it's not on after you first meet, it is very hard to change her mind over the phone. Just develop solid overall game in and out and you won't have these problems.

When she called I casually told her, "That's cool let's just reschedule. I'll just have to make other plans for tonight."

I then proceeded in texting 5 hot girls I had also been talking to for a while. I invited them all out to hang out separately by sending a mass text. In a few minutes I actually had 3 who responded to come out. From that point I had to give them an excuse for me flaking, and took out my favorite one ;-)

So the point of this is that, especially when you're getting better at this game, it isn't about finding that ONE special girl. That's the frame of needy losers who don't get laid.

It's about not only thinking that girls are plentiful, but ACTUALLY making women ABUNDANT in your life!!

I have this whole plan for organizing the women in my life that I will have to explain later.

~Wilove

Introduction to a self-made 'pimp's' journey

2008-05-30T18:02:00.000-07:00

As a young child I grew up very happy and carefree, but this all faded as I became an adolescent. Through these years my mind developed an unrealistic fear of women and social situations in general. The older I got, the more developed the network of negative thinking in my head grew so I avoided women like the plague.

This irrational fear of women and a painful shyness haunted me throughout most of my early life. Junior high through high school were especially difficult both socially and with women. Around my close friends and family I was myself, outgoing and pretty funny. While I was never quite the nerd who everyone picked on, I remained the shy, unassuming, invisible guy. Reflecting on this I realize the pain and struggle was completely self inflicted: in my head my thoughts were so much more negative and painful compared to what my actual experience was.

In high school it wasn't in my reality to date a girl, because in my mind I put women on a superficial pedestal. Despite my fear, there were so many girls I had crushes on. I would constantly day dream about one or two girls in each class and drool over them in my solitude.

I was perfectly content with my dorky guy friends, playing video games, pick up sports, or anything else as long as it didn't involve interacting with women. Throughout high school I could never fathom my current 'player' lifestyle, let alone having just a girlfriend.

The following incident is just an example of my awkward experiences and crippling fear of women in high school:

My sophomore year I became close friends with this chubby plain-looking girl, Sarah. Sarah was one of those popular fat chicks, with a warm personality and high self-esteem to match. I never thought of her as a female because she was so chubby, around her I could act my dorky self, and she was totally accepting of this.

One day I told Sarah about this cute girl who I had a crush on for years. Immediately Sarah's eyes lit up. She went into 'match maker mode', told me that she knew the cute girl well and wanted to introduce us.

The next week I came up with every excuse in the book avoid our inevitable encounter. The day finally came when Sarah ambushed me by inviting my crush to meet us at the library. The minute I see the cute girl walking toward us, my mind began racing and I completely lost my train of thought. Sarah just kicked back smiling, completely ignorant of the inner torment she was about to cause me.

CuteGirl: "Hi I'm Julie. Nice to meet you."

Me: [literally trembling] "Julie...yeah...Julie....um ..I'm........Will? ..."

CuteGirl: "...Umm... OK" [still smiling, but also beginning to look at me like I'm a freak]

Me: ... (Will, think of something funny to say dammit! Anything!!)......... [whips out his home work to look busy to hide the fact that I was about to have a full blown panic attack]

CuteGirl: [starts talking to Sarah about girl BS] Then, "Wow, Will is very...studious."

...Beyond awkward...

Yes, that was the entire encounter. I remember it like it happened yesterday, but now I can look back on it and really laugh. I realize now I blew it out of proportion, Sarah merely wanted us to meet each other, not go on some awkward one-on-one blind date. It was many awkward encounters like this in my past that pushed me to not only get over my debilitating shyness, but to eventually become a full fledged ladies man.

Through college and after I went through a long journey to 'conquer' my shyness. I got some cognitive-behavioral therapy to neutralize my irrational negative thoughts and began actively seeking a social life. I joined a fraternity and I even had a couple girlfriends, some whom really hurt me, but helped me grow a little bit tougher. (One lesson I learned is that merely being a 'nice guy' is not enough to get and keep a girlfriend.)

Even after college I accepted that some shyness and insecurities would never go away completely, especially with women. But at this point I could at least deal with it to an extent and face my fears. Although I had a little experience in college with women, most of it came out of 'drunken luck' and not out of my own choosing.

After graduating I went a year in a new city without friends and absolutely no women in my life. I hit a brand new low and soon became completely depressed. After feeling like I hit rock bottom, I finally admitted to myself that I needed to devote myself to getting good with women. This would make me happy. Right?

Wrong. Although getting better with girls definitely helped improve my confidence and happiness drastically, it didn't completely eradicate all my inner-demons and emotional struggles. My journey started off with goals like laying as many girls as I could, but soon changed to goals which involved improvement towards all aspects of myself as well as becoming a happy person. Along the way, I've been with a multitude of beautiful women, but that just comes with the process of becoming a naturally attractive man.

Currently, I lead a life filled with women and social freedom. I have a harem of women I date and frequent nightclubs where I easily meet women and find myself new 'girlfriends' with ease. I do this all from a generally good place, and try not to break too many hearts ;-)

Looking back I can say that things have drastically changed for the better.

Have I become completely 'perfect' with women and all aspects of life? No, but that is part of the fun of this journey and what drives me to become even more fulfilled.

My story proves that with dedication and the right attitude anyone can change.

From 'Shy Guy' to 'Ladies Man'

2007-02-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

Welcome!

So I've finally been convinced to get off my ass (actually to finally sit my ass down in front of the computer) and write this blog. The past several years I've delved deep into the game: improving myself, regularly approaching at clubs and bars, dating women, and self development. It's had it's ups and downs but the payoff has been great.

When I began this journey I attacked it like it was a 'sport'. Meeting women while out was not just like practicing any sport, but like training for the Olympics. It encompassed changing all aspects of myself, including lifestyle, personality, attitude, mindset, etc. I studied any material I could, but also kept applying what I learned when I was out approaching women. I eventually found out what worked best for me in a natural way.

Though it started as a sport, my game has become such an internalized part of me that it can only be described now as my art. At this point, I have come full circle, and reverted to my original genuine self... but a more attractive, confident version.

My only rules that I at least attempted to uphold through my journey were: 1) stay positive and 2) always learn from any experience.

In this blog I'll break apart my methods/mindset and tell of some adventures and mishaps along the way ... I hope this can help other's positive change as well.

Will Lovett